So, if you didn’t already know it, the Southeastern US is experiencing a drought. And here in North Carolina, it’s actually an “unprecedented drought” according to our lovely governor*. Which means that restaurants are doing things like not refilling your waterglass unless you specifically ask. I understand this, and it totally makes sense. What doesn’t make sense are the restaurants who have gone to using paper/disposable dishes and making customers buy bottled water instead of getting glasses of water. Oh yeah, cause that’s so much better for the environment.

After living in California and traveling in the Western US, I kind of scoff at East Coast drought. Yes, we should conserve, but we use water for crazy-stupid things here. Like the fact that people freak the fuck out if they can only water their lawns on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. REALLY? Luckily, my apartment complex is in the ghetto, and the owners have no qualms about dead, brown, grass, so I didn’t have to campaign against landscape watering in my neighborhood (businesses are not restricted in their landscape watering here).

I have been trying to limit my own water consumption, too. I already do a lot of stuff you’re supposed to do, like only run the dishwasher and washing machine when they’re full, turning off the water when I brush my teeth or when I’m soaping my hands, etc. But I take long showers. I always have. I can’t help it. Lately, I’ve started setting the kitchen timer while I’m in the shower. I’m under 10 minutes now, but I cannot seem to break the 7 minute barrier. And I’ve decided to forego shaving my legs, especially since it is getting cooler. But today, it was 85 degrees again, so I wore my capris and had to expose my legs in all their hairy glory. It’s kind of embarrassing. I called my parents and asked if I could have $300 for laser hair removal, in order to conserve water. I don’t know why, but they said no. Then I thought, if the governor offered subsidies for all women who got laser hair removal, that could save a TON of water! Think about it–it’s at least as environmentally friendly as driving a Prius, and they give subsidies for that!

So, ladies, get out there and call your Congressmen. And Congresswomen, though they shouldn’t be that hard to convince about this, really. And if your Congressperson is a Republican, use phrases like “dirty hairy hippie chick” to scare them into supporting this cause.

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*Of course, this is the same man who thought it would be a good idea to appoint Mike Nifong the DA of Durham, so can we really trust his judgement? Ok, Ok, so he’s got scientific and historical facts backing him up this time. I suppose I’ll play along, for now…

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